Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself

Recently, a friend asked me what I believed was one of my greatest accomplishments. Naturally, he assumed that I would say my degrees, a fair assumption, however that was far from what had actually come to mind. For me, it’s this; this blog, this portfolio of my thoughts. It’s being well aware of exactly how much anxiety that I had to overcome and self-doubt that I had to swallow before gaining the courage to publicly post these thoughts. It’s the fact that regardless of having to face that anxiety and self-doubt every single time, I still share my writing and continue to do so. Sharing these words with you has easily become one of my greatest accomplishments.

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You see, I’ve had this blog for about 3 years now, since I started openly posting my work in 2016. As I was going through my work, I realized that I had written over 60 posts, consisting of heart-felt journal entries, thought-provoking stories and descriptive poetry. Now I know that 60 doesn’t sound like a very large number for a three year time span, but for an introverted and relatively private person who fiddles with an idea for weeks at a time, before she gets it down on paper, prior to editing and re-editing it until she is 100% satisfied, 60 is a number that I’m quite proud of. 60 stories told through imagery, poetry and carefully thought out word patterns. 60 life experiences, both beautiful and heart-breaking, shared with you. 60 times that I’ve had to quiet the alarms of my introverted mind, calm my racing heart and force my sweaty palms to not just hover over the publish button, but actually click it to post. 60 reasons that I have to be proud of myself.

Growth is a Mindset

I’ve always known that one day I’d like to own my craft; be able to write more frequently and reach a larger audience, but the question that not so subtly burst into my mind was why “one day,” why not now?  

After all, I’m always writing for my own mental sake, and when an idea becomes compelling enough to make relatable to a greater audience, I do so. I then post it on my blog and promote it on my Instagram in hopes that at least few individuals will read it and find it relatable, meaningful or just genuinely enjoyable. I fully accept that my words will only influence a handful of people (if any), but am I really going to accept that they will only reach that many as well?

I value the concept of growing your following organically, and I’ve realized that there’s a difference between spamming people and openly sharing your work. Other than my close friends and those who have discovered my blog on their own, not many people are even aware that I write, nor of how much I love to do so. I don’t talk about it, and I’ve never really understood why. I think a part of it has to do with the fact that much of what I write is about my own personal struggles. Therefore, giving people the ability to associate those words to a real person (myself), rather than just being a stranger telling her story, makes me feel extremely vulnerable. But at the same time, I am so incredibly proud of those words, that not sharing them is beginning to feel like I’m stifling them before they even hit the page.

Time to be a little more Vulnerable

Whether my writing reaches more readers or not, I’m no longer willing to allow myself the excuse of not trying to do so.  I think it’s time that I started taking more pride in my work and allowing myself to feel comfortable doing so. After all, life is short so what the hell. That being said, I’ve finally decided to buy the rights to my website/domain. It requires me to start almost from scratch, but I’m looking forward to revisiting my old posts and making them relevant again. I hope that in doing so, you can also find value in an entry you may have read in the past, as well as enjoy brand new pieces sprinkled in between. I’m also including an email subscription to allow my work to be sent straight to your inbox to reduce my dependence on Instagram.

Before I end off, I just want to say thank you; thank you to everyone who has read, liked, shared and provided feedback on my work. To be told that someone finds my stories relatable is feeling of satisfaction that I can’t even find the words to express. I am especially grateful for the surprising number of friends who have reached out to me and encouraged me to keep writing and posting my work. Thank you for sticking with me over the past three years, and continuing to join me on my exploration through life and creativity,  

Sincerely,

Vidhya S