A Journal Entry | July 30, 2020 | Free
Every now and again I feel this restlessness, as though there’s this pressure cooking up inside of me that needs to be released. When this happen, journaling doesn’t always feel like enough, and I feel this need to run until my legs protest, and then continue a little further. Sometimes, it feels like running is the only thing that’s capable of reminding me that I’m still in control, the one thing that can demonstrate to me the persistence my mind harbours, and the endurance my body can unleash.
When I run, I’m reminded of how powerful my mind can be, even when the rest of me feels like giving up. It’s really a remarkable thing; my legs tire, my pace slows, but my mind remains unfazed. It convinces my body to keep pushing, at first for just one minute, and then for another, and for one more after that, releasing my soul into what I can only describe as a form of euphoric bliss. It allows me to feel free. Running has become a necessary part of my life, a form of mediation that releases me from my worldly worries and forces my mind to forget everything in order focus on one simple thing; to keep going.
But to be honest, today I’ll likely need to run as well as write. As I said I feel restless, my spirit wants more, craving something that I can’t quite put my finger on. I’m finding myself yearning for things I’ve both had and things I haven’t. I long for my dreams, for far away cities and sky-filled views; for cozy afternoons and lively nights; I long for the future that at times, I can see so clearly, even when doubt rolls in the fog, but on days like today, above all of these things, I long for you . But as much as I long for things far away, I know there is pleasure in the things that stand before me. Perhaps what I need is not to escape, but rather to immerse myself in the now, in the moments that I miss every time I drift away into my airy thoughts. To be here and recognize the joy that exists in the simplest places and in the company of the warmest hearts. Whatever it may be, for today I simply need to run.
– Vidhya